More Words on Words
Source: Pam Robinson, Editors Ink

Odds and ends on editing.

Incident: a vague word. Call it what it is: a robbery, burglary, kidnapping, accident, etc.

Mishap: suggests minor occurrence. Fatal car accidents, plane crashes, murders, etc., are not mishaps.

Garnishes: go on salads and other dishes. If someone’s paycheck is being grabbed, it’s garnisheed.

Bracketed information in quotes: Brackets should almost never be used. If you must use brackets on information to explain something in a quote that otherwise would be misleading, think about reorganizing the accompanying paragraph. NEVER use this construction: "I’ll give the money [to Mike]," Egbert said.

Make it, "I’ll give the money" to Mike, Egbert said, or paraphrase it right out of its little quotes.

And information can’t be bracketed into a quote to substitute for the actual words, as in this sentence: "Police are doing everything they can to arrest [the suspect] in this case," Commissioner Valerie Stammitti said. She didn’t say "Police are doing everything they can to arrest in this case.’’ She said something else. We can’t substitute our words for someone else’s. Render the quote accurately.

Tighten, tighten, tighten.

Instead of This -- Try this.
 
 

  1. The group made a decision to? -- It decided.
  2. At the corner of Seventh Avenue and 14th Street. -- At Seventh Avenue and 14th Street.
  3. Has begun negotiations with him to make changes in. -- Is negotiating changes.
  4. A large number of. -- Many or several.
  5. Caused the destruction of. -- Destroyed.
  6. He is respectful of. -- Respected.
  7. In the process of moving. -- Moving.
  8. Were in attendance at -- Attended.
  9. The hospital located at -- At.
Avoid such expressions as: "due to the fact" (try "because"), "A sufficient number of" (try "enough"),"prior to" (try "before").

All narcotics are drugs but not all drugs are narcotics.
"Between" connects two things, not three or more. Use among instead.
Workers who march in protests are pickets, not picketers.
Avoid cop and doctor talk. "A gunshot wound to the head" means he was shot in the head; "contusions and abrasions" are bruises and cuts.
Search and destroy: Impact as a verb.
Lone, as in lone gunman, lone robber. The words gunman and robber say clearly that there is just one.Lift up. Lift is clear.
Slow down. Slow does it.
Off of. Off is enough.

Take vs. bring:
A person is taken to a hospital, not brought. You would take something to the other side of the room, not bring it. But if something is coming closer, it is being brought to the reader or writer. If, for example, a story was being written about life in the emergency room, and the scene and action were being described, we might say someone was "brought to the hospital".

Precinct vs. Station House:
Precinct and station house are not interchangeable. A precinct is a section or neighborhood or district; a station house is a building.

Dispute/refute/rebut:
Dispute means to challenge. Because one person said one thing, and someone else later says something else, doesn’t mean the latter disputed the former. Rebut means to contradict. Refute means to prove to be false or erroneous.

Flaunt means to show off; flout means to ignore.
Oh, those dirty details. Adolph is a meat tenderizer. Adolf was a Nazi.
Astronauts could not, would not, did not see the Great Wall of China from space.