comma, period, semicolon?

comma, period, semicolon?

Postby Skyanne » 8:06 pm 02/28/2010

Using the Chicago Manual of Style (book format), how would you edit the following run-on sentence?

In this section, you will find glimpses into that magical place, the place that I believe exists in every child’s mind, the place where the real magic of Christmas exists, where the physical and environmental realities of this world do not impinge on the Santa’s Wonderland of their imagination, a place where all things are harmonious and joyful.

Thanks.
Skyanne
Rimmer
 
Posts: 11
Joined: 5:50 pm 06/18/2008
Location: New York

Re: comma, period, semicolon?

Postby LisaMc » 4:23 pm 03/03/2010

Here's what I'd do, just change one comma to a colon and delete two words. I'll chalk up conjunction use (or lack thereof) to the writer's voice and leave it be.

In this section, you will find glimpses into that magical place, the place that I believe exists in every child’s mind: the place where the real magic of Christmas exists, where the physical and environmental realities of this world do not impinge on the Santa’s Wonderland of their imagination, where all things are harmonious and joyful.
Lisa McLendon
ACES Vice President / Conferences
Deputy Copy Desk Chief
The Wichita Eagle
User avatar
LisaMc
Desk chief
 
Posts: 133
Joined: 7:00 pm 04/23/2006
Location: Wichita


Return to Grammar, style and usage



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest

User Control Panel

Login

Who is online

In total there are 2 users online :: 1 registered, 0 hidden and 1 guest (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 61 on 6:18 pm 04/24/2012

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest